Life = Poop.

My life is full of poop.


Yesterday, Parker clogged the toilet. Of course, it was soon after Dale left for a 4 day Vegas vacation, which meant I was the lucky one to have to deal with it. I got out the handy plunger, and attempted to fix the issue. Instead, I was lucky enough to realize A.) my plunger was a piece of crap and B.) my toilet was filled to the brim with water, tp, and crap and I was up sh!t creek. 


So I head to the nearest town in search for a new, big black ugly plunger some other military wife suggested I get before Dale deploys. I had to ask "Where are your plungers?" at 3 stores before I found what i was looking for. I'm pretty sure that's like telling them, I have a toilet full of crap at home. A real awesome thing to ask.


The good news is, with my new plunger friend, I was able to correct the problem all by myself. I was so proud that I did a little dance, but quickly realized that now I had to clean the toilet, so it took me back down a level. 


So why do you care I had to un-plunge a toilet? You probably don't, but the very next day ...


The dog pooped on the floor. Macy walked through it. I quickly grabbed her to clean off her foot and stop the spread of poop prints on my carpet. She catches a glimpse, whiff, something and starts gagging. Then she goes from gagging to full on puking because of the damn dog crap. So there I was, a wipe full of dog poop in one hand and a hand full of puke in the other, and I think, yep this is my life. 


So I get Macy cleaned up and sit her on the couch so I can clean the dog's mess, but the girl won't quit gagging over it. She throws up a few more times because her own puke makes her gag and it's just a full on mess. Ugh. I clean up Macy's mess, then I go back to the dog poop and clean up that too. It was one of those moments where it was so ridiculous it was hilarious. 


Moral of the past 2 days: Life = Poop.