Parkerisms 43

With tax season comes the people on the corner dressed up as Uncle Sam or the Statue of Liberty. Today's sighting was on the corner turning into Walmart.
P: Mom, why's that statue there?
M: Oh, it's the Statue of Liberty.
P: But this isn't Liberty, this is Walmart. It's the statue of Walmart.
P: Mom, I figured it out. It's not a statue. It's a guy in a costume.

Parker kept saying his knee hurt, so Dale was checking it out.
D: Here let's rub it, then it'll feel better.
P: Yeah, it needs to be rubbed for 50 days then it'll be better.
D: 50?!
P: Oh, I mean 4 days. 4.

Mom's not allowed to take a nice quiet bath anymore. Some form of the following conversation always ensues.
P: Is it a warm bath, or a hot bath.
M: Hot.
P: (feels the water) Oh, yeah, that's a hot bath.
Moment's later.
P: Mom, do you need any toys? If you do, just call for me really loud, then I'll come and give you some toys. Ok? You just call really really loud and I'll give you the boats. Then you can pretend you're a giant and you step on them, like this (stops foot) and you sink the boats. So if you want some toy's you just let me know ok?
M: Ok. What if I don't want any toys?
P: Well, then you don't call for me. But if you need any toys, you just yell really loud and I'll come ok?
M: Ok I will call for you.

Just before bedtime, Parker is laying on the floor.
M: Parker, it's time for bed. Get up and give dad a hug.
P: (Pretends he's stuck to the floor) But I can't because my brain is so heavy.