10 days

Ten stupid days left. 


Well, I guess the days aren't stupid, they are 10 days where Dale is home and not gone. But the fact that there are only 10 days remaining is stupid. I hate that the stupid time went so stupid fast and now I have to face the stupid facts that my safe little bubble is going to pop.


Parker's catching on that his dad is leaving for a long time and I think that's making this whole thing a little bit harder. I try to explain this whole Afghanistan thing in a way a 5 year old will understand, but how do you tell your kid his dad's going to war without scary misunderstandings? 


I tried to tell him that there are bad people in the world and sometimes the Army needs to go over and make it safer for the other people. This led him to think that Dale's going to get shot at by bad guys and that Dale will need to shoot the bad guys. Of course, I didn't say anything like that, but he's 5 and his army guy toys shoot at each other, so why wouldn't the real Army do the same? I don't want to lie to the kid and tell him that Dad won't get shot, because that is a reality of the situation.  So I explained to him that the Army is like the police here, they have guns in case they need them, but they don't just go around shooting people. Plus, I told him, Dale's job is to be a pilot. He's going to be flying airplanes the whole time he's gone, not doing . 


I think I've downplayed the scary part of this deployment, but he's a smart kid and he listens very well. He hears what people say about keeping us in their prayers and how they hope Dale stays safe. He observes my actions and reactions. He knows. I know he does. 


I think that the kids reactions to the situation scare me more than the actual deployment. Dale and I both made adult decisions when he joined the Army and when I decided to marry a soldier. We chose this knowing that deployments are part of the package. The kids didn't have a choice. 


Is Parker going to act out? Will Macy get more clingy? Will they stay the same? These unknowns bother me. My mind plays a million different scenarios and I just don't know what will happen. I hate not knowing things. 


Luckily, there are lots of resources available to us while Dale's deployed and depending upon how I think the kids are doing, we may or may not use them. However, just knowing they're available makes me feel a little better. 


So over the next 10 days, we're going to cram in as much family time as possible. I'm going to try not to complain about stupid crap. I'm going encourage the kids to hang out with Dale as much as they can (Even when he doesn't want to :) ). I'm going to stay positive and keep things as normal as possible. At this point, it's all I can do.