Parkerisms 54

P: Who is this? (holds up dollar)

G: George Washington

P: Who's George Washington?

G: The first president of the United States of America.

P: The first president? the very first?

G: Yup.

P: I've never seen this guy in my life.

P: Mom, my butt itches. (turns around) Scratch it.

M: Uh ... ok. (scratches said booty)

P: No mom, my butt crack itches.

M: Well I'm not scratching there.

P: Fine, I'll do it. Sheesh.

Comes up and wipes wet hand on my face ...

G: What is that?

P: Tongue water.

G: Sick.

P: Aahahhaha. I put a joke on you.

G: Parker, it stinks in here, did you toot?

P: No mom, it's the smell of Lincoln Logs.