Burnout

I'm experiencing some full-time homemaker burnout.

I'm not going to lie and say that stay at home life is so wonderful and I'm so blessed and it's the greatest thing ever. It may be that way for some people, and that's fantastic. I'm happy for them. I however am convinced I'm a much better mother when I work outside of my home.

Here's my reasoning. It's good for our whole family if the kids and I have time apart. I can mentally refresh and they can learn to figure things out without having mommy's help all the time. Also, I think it's probably a good idea they get a break from me. I need a break from myself sometimes.

My days are filled with keeping Parker busy and keeping Macy happy. These are not easy tasks. Parker insists I have to help him do everything and Macy insists I have to hold her all the time. So all day long, I'm holding Macy in one arm and trying to do whatever Parker wants me to do with the other arm. Add to this that I have to stay standing for Macy and Parker must direct everything I do, and if I do it wrong he makes me start over.

It's easy for an outsider to say "well don't hold her so much" or "don't let Parker be so bossy", but here's the thing, if you don't live in this house and spend your entire day with my kids, you have no idea how hard those "simple" solutions are.

Macy will scream for hours if I don't carry her around all day. A screaming baby is probably one of the most annoying/frustrating sounds in the world. Now take that screaming baby and listen to it all day and night. You will have no nerves left. None. This then affects your patience for the big brother, which isn't fair.

Parker has spent way too much time with me that he seems to be overly dependent on me. I cannot do anything without him as my shadow. Heck, I can't even pee without him in the audience. Multiple times I day I have to remind Parker that he's being bossy and that I won't play with him if he's going to be that way. This then leads to him having a cow because "Well I wanted this, but you did this" and he cannot get past why you won't listen to him. I'm sure it's just his age that's most of the problem, but it's never ending all day long.

Finally, I cannot forget the other home-maker duties I struggle to keep up with. Dishes, laundry, cleaning, and cooking duties never end. As soon as the dishes are done, it's time to cook another meal, which leads to more dishes. As soon as you cook a meal, you have to start thinking about what you're going to make for the next meal. You clean and 5 minutes later the toys are all back on the floor where they were. Laundry, my most hated chore, is the hardest to keep up with. Piles after piles are washed, dried, folded, and put away each week, and it seems like each time I turn around, I'm doing it all over again.

Ugh.

In the grand scheme of things, I am blessed. I thank God everyday for all I have. However, at the moment, I'm in dire need of a break. Or a nap. I'd take a nap too :)